I'm always amazed when I look at photos like this, with all 5 of us. I almost can't imagine life before Crew! We always had fun, just the four of us, but we also seemed to be waiting for him...and we waited-almost since Chloe was born! It was even hard for the kids to wait. I remember a time when I was driving Carson to school he was about 5 years old and out of the blue he asked if I was remembering to pray to Heavenly Father for a baby. He made sure that I knew he was doing his part!
July 2011
While the road was difficult at times I think both Dave and I can look back and be grateful for all of the experiences we had. We learned so much about Heavenly Father's love for us; that He knows us personally and that there really is a plan that is specific to each of us. We learned to trust in that and on days when we wondered if we would ever hold a baby again we remembered. We remembered that he had answered our prayers and that we WOULD be blessed, we just didn't know when.
one week old
The whole time I was pregnant there was a feeling of magic around our house. First it was because we had a special family secret. The kids couldn't wait until they could tell people, then they couldn't wait to feel the baby move. I spent many a 'family-movie-night' trying to hear over shouts of 'he moved!' and 'he kicked-did you feel that!' We even heard Auntie Lise complain a few times that it was her turn to feel the baby! It really was an exciting time for everyone. I often wondered if this little person knew how much he was already loved.
November 6, 2010 -about 1 hour old
It's been difficult at times to go back to the 'baby stage' because life had become so easy. I'm forced now to slow down and let things 'go' (ughhh!). I even sometimes feel torn between all that is required as a mom of busy school-aged children, and what I think is best for a hungry, wet and tired baby! But all in all it has been a joy. I remember saying when Chloe was a baby that I wished I could go back to having my first baby and know then all that I had since learned. I felt confident being a second-time mom, but was busy with a toddler on top of it all. Well now I feel like that's kind of what I'm doing. I have experience and time (when the other two are in school) to really love raising Crew. Okay not a lot of time, but I'm wise enough to enjoy it when I do!
January 2011
I have two little live in nannies who usually love to help. Carson rarely complains when asked to help. He's great when Crew is tired and I'm trying to get dinner ready or in the morning when Chloe is getting ready for school. The two of them stay and eat breakfast and watch cartoons together while I walk Chloe to the bus stop. Carson is revelling in his role as big brother. He loves to put him on his shoulders and make him laugh or push him in the stroller. Carson likes to tell me that when Crew is his age he'll be going on his mission!
Chloe loves to cuddle and smother Crew with love! She plays house with him in her room while I sneak in a few chores. She's often asked to be a little quieter when she's with him because everything he does makes her laugh uncontrollably! She often tells me how lucky we are that Crew came to our house. Whenever she goes out to play with a friend she insists that they come and say hi to him first. She's so proud.
May 2011 March 2011
The love is totally reciprocated. Crew lights up when the kids come in the room and when they leave the bonus room he hangs on the gate crying until they run back up the stairs for one more laugh and hug. I have a memory of Andrew when he was probably a toddler and he was sitting on the stairs while I goofed around trying to get him to cheer up and laugh. I remember thinking that Mom asked me because I was the only one who could truly make him happy. Now I think maybe I was right! There's a kind of laughter and happiness that only a big brother or sister can bring. This is true in my house (I try not to be jealous!).
-July 2011
It's been a special experience for Dave too. While all of the kids love and adore him, I don't know if he's ever had the experience of a nursing baby choosing him over Mommy! If I bring him into bed in the morning the first thing he does is crawl over to look for Dave. If he gets no response (I never do) he hits him on the head and says something that sounds suspiciously like DADA! I have loved watching the two of them together. Dave never leaves Crew crying at the stairs when he leaves for work he always stops for one more lingering cuddle. He has also really learned to stop and soak in the moment.
Silverwood August 2011
I often think and wonder about what Crew had to learn and prepare for before coming to our home. Why did he take so long? When I think about how hard it was to wait I imagine him sitting at his Father's feet and gleaning all that he possibly could; maybe getting one more hug so that he would feel ready. Then time suddenly doesn't feel so long. I'm just glad he came. I'm grateful for God's wisdom in sending us to live in families. I feel so very blessed.